Boston Bomb Scare No Laughing Matter
May 1st, 2007 | Author: Tony Shoptana | Category: Uncategorized | |By Scott Hinners
Cartoon Network finally got what’s coming to it and not because of its content either, although I do find its late night television offensive and often malicious. The red paint has finally been thrown upon the channel’s mink coat of a marketing strategy. As you may have heard, the guerilla push for their new Adult Swim movie, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” caused a city-wide bomb scare in Boston in February, effectively shutting down major highways and raining chaos down on thousands of unsuspecting citizens. TBS and its publicity wags at Interference Inc. have agreed to pay $2 million in retributions to city and state organizations, but can this really undo the damage they have done? The utter shame they brought upon the city of Boston?
Now, I’m all for humor; I enjoy laughter. However, hanging non-descript electronic boxes, such as Lite Brites, around a busy metropolis does not move me to chuckle. It’s dangerous, and it incites panic. To add insult to injury, the campaign even used a particularly saucy character, a “Mooninite,” giving the middle finger (creative right?) on the device.
How is such an act NOT supposed to be construed as a potential threat, or at the very least a cause for concern? Look at the facts. Suspicious looking boxes hung with exposed electrical wire were strategically placed around Boston. For our own safety, we cannot simply look the other way. If we have learned anything from the events of 9/11, we must remain vigilant toward everyday dangers. It’s bad enough that we must live in fear of legitimate terrorism; now we must deal with disrespectful companies putting comedy ahead of safety.
What really boils my blood is Cartoon Network’s attitude following the charges. I might have been more forgiving of the company’s ignorance in putting up these devices in the first place if someone had simply apologized. They did not. While in front of the public, the arrested parties remained stone-faced. They choose to insult each and every citizen of Boston by answering questions solely on the topic of 1970s hairstyles. Again, Cartoon Network succeeded in taking another joke to an unhealthy level.
While I may not hold a marketing degree, I’m confident that I can think up a more effective, clever and non-threatening marketing campaign. Here’s what Cartoon Network could have done:
- A scrolling marquee is practically the same thing as a Lite Brite, only with more features. Common sense tells me that moving lights grab attention better than static lights. Some boards can produce graphics as well as words. Why this wasn’t their first choice, given their low cost in today’s market, is beyond me.
- When did posters go out of style? Other movies seem to do well with them. The same offensive content, could be presented without the hassle of electrical wiring and, oh yeah, a massive bomb threat. The message is “come to a new movie,” right? It’s not rocket science, and it won’t land you in jail.
- If it’s something unique Cartoon Network is looking for, then I might suggest some creative plush toy placement. In the day, the sun lowers the visibility of an electronic light box anyway. Stuffed characters could be visible at all hours (as long as you place them near light) and easily identify the movie. If you’re worried about weather, then be creative (that’s why they pay you anyway) and put it in a rain slicker or have it hold an umbrella.
- Video can be a useful advertising medium if the cost is right. Looking online. It appears this “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” has plenty of DVDs to buy. I ask then, why not just show clips of their shows on a video screen or make a trailer to play? Maybe they’re afraid the content is too profane for general passersby (as if a middle finger is acceptable).
- If all else fails, shout about it. When my six year-old wants something, she shouts. Although annoying at times, it works, and I’m forced to listen. If you do not have a six year-old (and it wouldn’t surprise me if Cartoon Network would try and use one), the best way to get the word out is a megaphone. Someone stands on a street bellowing into a large megaphone while handing out a flier or two. You may have to pay someone to stand outside and yell, but it’s definitely cheaper than being sued by a major city.
In just 15 minutes I’ve brainstormed five very simple, obvious methods that Cartoon Network could have safely implemented. I cannot fathom how professional advertisers execute such a dangerous campaign without considering the obvious consequences and examining more benign alternatives.
It’s not funny, Cartoon Network. No one in city government, rescue services, or the general Bostonian population is laughing. What is funny is the cost to TBS, Cartoon Network’s parent organization, of $2 million — the sting of which forced the president of Cartoon Network to resign. If it were up to me, all of the responsible parties, not just the fall guy, would have publicly apologized and been made to give free car washes to all the rescue vehicles in the city. After that, I may consider things even. Until then, I would implore the readers of this article to carefully consider buying any merchandise affiliated with the aforementioned company. If they aren’t going to take the complaints of victimized citizens seriously, then maybe they will listen to plummeting sales.
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