By Rebecca Ullman

Studies have shown a direct correlation between testosterone levels and tool quantity. What does this means to you? In order to prove your status as a strappingly macho, stallion-like individual, it’s imperative that you immediately turn off Oprah, remove your genitalia from between your legs, and purchase a multitude of masculine hardware. Put on a flannel shirt while you’re at it. If feasible, sprinkle a little saw dust on your sleeves.

No more crying and whimpering about your empty toolbox. It’s time to grab hold of some large, powerful instruments and feel like a man again. Here’s a list of tools, appliances, and accessories that’ll put some hair on your chest:

By Scott Hinners

Cartoon Network finally got what’s coming to it and not because of its content either, although I do find its late night television offensive and often malicious. The red paint has finally been thrown upon the channel’s mink coat of a marketing strategy. As you may have heard, the guerilla push for their new Adult Swim movie, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” caused a city-wide bomb scare in Boston in February, effectively shutting down major highways and raining chaos down on thousands of unsuspecting citizens. TBS and its publicity wags at Interference Inc. have agreed to pay $2 million in retributions to city and state organizations, but can this really undo the damage they have done? The utter shame they brought upon the city of Boston?

By Colleen Lynch

Picture yourself rocking out in front of 50,000 screaming fans. Despite the blaring guitars and the roar of the crowd, you still hear the sound of your voice as you hit the high notes of your chart-topping single. Even if you’re not quite a rock star just yet, there are still major advantages to quality, sound isolating earphones.

Something to be aware of when choosing a pair of headphones is that manufacturers use two different terminologies to describe their products: “noise canceling” and “sound isolating” earphone technology. While both are acceptable options for avid listeners, most people are unaware of the subtle differences between the two.

By Colleen Lynch

Victory feels so real you can taste it. With face paint applied and beer in hand, you chant along with 50,000 fellow fans, screaming support for your favorite team. You have the best seat in the house, — with ample leg room, no bathroom lines, and no 7 foot-tall lummox blocking your view.

All of this is made possible through the glorious innovation of high definition television. Hi-def, or so the manufacturers would have you believe, can transport you from the comfort of your couch right up to the 20 yard-line.

Angels & Demons, Special Illustrated Edition (Hardcover)

It is going to be hard to review this book without revealing the plot, but it’s worth a try. As it is completely plot driven with minimal characterization, it is a difficult duty.

The first 75% of the book is quite compelling as it covers numerous murders, an effort to blow up the Vatican, and some interesting sounding characters including the pope, the art historian, the priest, his adopted daughter, and the head of the science lab in the wheel chair. To top it all off, there’s also an election for the new pope as the existing one just died.

LeapStart Learning Table

Growing and learning is a crucial period for babies and toddlers. It is a time of discovering and experimenting. Buying the right toys for your little ones can really affect the person he/she becomes. If you start early in the learning process, your child will have a better chance of understanding concepts and gaining decent learning techniques.

I gotta admit, LeapStart Learning Table is so fun, that even a 20-year-old like me is amused by it. There are so many things to press, spin, and pull.

Butterflies Kit

Mommy, will you buy me a pet butterfly? I love them, they are so pretty and graceful, just like me, right? (said with a big, loving smile)

The reality is that moms can’t buy their children butterflies because they are simply not for sale in any pet store I know of. Butterflies are too free-spirited to act as pets. They would never be happy sitting in a cage all day, indoors, with no space to fly.

So how do you respond to such a request? Well, there is a solution. Instead of buying a real butterfly, why don’t you make your own?