Occasionally a movie comes out that is bad on so many levels that you just can’t seem to get enough of it. You know the kind I’m talking about. Terrible acting, over-dramatic dialogue, unneeded and scientifically impossible stunts, scantly clad women, etc, etc, etc. At first, you feel you’ve wasted 90 minutes of your life watching a bunch of explosions loosely tied together around some mundane plot. Then you watch it a second time. And a third time. And then a fourth. And then, before you know it, you’re quoting that horrible movie amongst your friends.

Have you ever seen a television show and thought, “How can I see another 36 hours of that?” If you’re as obsessed with media as I am, you probably view entertainment in seasons, not episodes.

When attempting to cook up your TV junkie fix, you may find that supporting your habit means blowing all of your money on DVD box sets and frivolous premium channel subscriptions. With reruns as your only methadone source, how do you handle an unhealthy media obsession?

By Rebecca Ullman

Studies have shown a direct correlation between testosterone levels and tool quantity. What does this means to you? In order to prove your status as a strappingly macho, stallion-like individual, it’s imperative that you immediately turn off Oprah, remove your genitalia from between your legs, and purchase a multitude of masculine hardware. Put on a flannel shirt while you’re at it. If feasible, sprinkle a little saw dust on your sleeves.

No more crying and whimpering about your empty toolbox. It’s time to grab hold of some large, powerful instruments and feel like a man again. Here’s a list of tools, appliances, and accessories that’ll put some hair on your chest:

By Michael Danzig

So Britney is bald… and I can’t stop laughing. What ever happened to that smokin’ hot pop star we couldn’t get enough of? She’s gaining weight, bouncing in and out of rehab weekly, and sporting a hair style most commonly associated with short, stocky men. Oh Britney, what should we do with you? Or, better question, what should you do with your glistening bald noggin? Here are a few tips for Britney and the bald alike:

By Scott Hinners

Cartoon Network finally got what’s coming to it and not because of its content either, although I do find its late night television offensive and often malicious. The red paint has finally been thrown upon the channel’s mink coat of a marketing strategy. As you may have heard, the guerilla push for their new Adult Swim movie, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” caused a city-wide bomb scare in Boston in February, effectively shutting down major highways and raining chaos down on thousands of unsuspecting citizens. TBS and its publicity wags at Interference Inc. have agreed to pay $2 million in retributions to city and state organizations, but can this really undo the damage they have done? The utter shame they brought upon the city of Boston?